Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I suck at posting things

So again, I have neglected my little corner of the Internet.  I feel like it's a combination of things that keep me away - laziness being the main factor.  Although there's also the bone-numbing exhaustion that comes from working a split schedule (meaning I work days and nights).  It's kind of horrible when I leave the hospital and can't remember how the hell I got home.  I tell you, the worst time for anyone to medically fall apart in a hospital is between four and six in the morning.  The entire night shift has already checked out for the evening, and the second wind that comes from knowing that work is almost over hasn't started yet.

So there's that reason.  Also, about a month ago I had a hilarious diatribe about public transit and behavior all ready to post, but it got eaten by the gods of the Internet.  Either that or the MBTA has my computer bugged in the off chance I might make disparaging remarks about it on a blog that - and I'm not trying to brag or anything - has had over 100 hits in its entire existence.

So what, you may ask, has prompted me to overcome my months of laziness, apathy, and writer's block to again put fingers to keyboard?

Through the combined delights of StumbleUpon and Pinterest, I have recently come across several blogs that detail the (usually female) writer talking about how they've recently lost a lot of weight, or how they're trying to lose a lot of weight, and how much better their lives are now that they're skinny, or how hard they continue to work every day to maintain their new hotness.  Now, I'm not out to rain on anyone's parade, but I'm gonna have to call bullshit on some of these.

I've been on the larger side for most of my life.  And I don't care ONE BIT.  I can't wear skinny jeans.  Fine by me.  Personally, I don't think anyone can.

And what breaks my brain about these girls is that they think that losing weight will magically help them find love.  Really?  Is this what you think life is all about?  Making yourselves miserable and thin in order to attract a douchebag who wasn't man enough to see past whatever external flaws you may have had to see the person you really are?  Because no matter who you are, no matter how hard you work, looks fade.  Whatever paint and polish and Botox and Shellac you put on will eventually chip away.  And you're left with what you have inside your body. And even before that, you're going to get sick one day.  I don't mean cancer or something, but like a really bad cold.  And you're not going to put on makeup and you probably won't shower and your face will be all splotchy and your nose will be swollen and crusty and you're going to look terrible.  And that douchebag that only gave you the time of day because you were skinny is going to take one look at you and head for the hills.

I've been in double-digit dress sizes as long as I can remember, and it hasn't slowed me down one bit. I'm smart and funny and sexy as hell, when I want to be.  I got more attention from men in college than my skinny, miserable friends, mostly because they were too worried about what they looked like than having a good time. I have love and friendship and fulfillment in my life, not because of what I look like, but because of who I am.  And nothing can ever change that about me.